OzMel

I can’t be addicted in it anymore. The more I try to ignore, the more I found I care. Maybe this is not a good timing for us.

Should I wait or give up? I know you are asking the same question to another person, but what’s gonna be her answer? Was it just my illusion of us? Does your heart just 100% belong to her? If 1% not, is it for me? I never know, nobody knows. But I know that the person who tracks your posts every single day is me, not her!

I hate seeing you be volatile and hostile. If you could just turn around and look back, it might be a bright new day. I have accumulated too much feelings about you inside me, but I couldn’t express them, not now.

It is perhaps a test for both of us. Let the fortune decide!

Back View of Jane Austen, Watercolor

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“When a woman is wise, then she’d better hide it; people do appreciate a person with humor, but with wisdom, they do not!”

– “Becoming Jane Austen

There are many times that I was thinking whether it is a social consequence or a nature for a woman to be an ordinary person of the world, with nothing but the responsibilities to take care of their husbands and children in their minds.

The truth always come with two points, which are absolutely controversial. So it might be proper to define women as a group of contradictory people. Beyond the nature of women’s hearts, at least I believe the nature of women’s minds are equal to men’s, even sometimes exceed theirs, as an example Jane Austen.

However, another truth is she might sacrifice more than a man if she decide to take a man’s duties. The sacrifice could be a property, a wealthy husband or a true love. The reason is she does not agree with the saying “women had better hide their wisdom” and obviously she has discovered her own unique wisdom and decided to show it.

Unfortunately, not too many women are like her in this material world. Mostly it seems like a stronger nature called “weak” or “lazy” make them obey the men they rely on. “Is it possible to be both a good wife and a good author?” Jane asked, if it’s to you, what would you say?

Life is imperfect and that’s why it push us seek ways to make it perfect. Yet it is probably just a trick for us, because “you will always sacrifice an hour to read a chapter for watching a movie”. God sets a time line on everybody’s life, but he doesn’t set the way you spend it. So be yourself, at least get one of the two apples you could choose from.

And for me, becoming me, as I always have been doing, no hesitation.

– OzMel

This is a text written by a lazy girl lying on her soft warm bed. The problem seems a bit severe these days: she can not fall asleep any more. Now let’s try to find out the reasons for her and figure out some good suggestions hopefully.

  1. Firstly, she is under big pressure now by making efforts to make a high marks from the uni. Obviously it didn’t go well since the beginning of this semester, she is afraid of being a 5 slope student.
  2. Secondly, the new job is good, and could be better if it’s does not need a high GPA which is highly linked to the NO.1 problem.
  3. Thirdly, private question. She is trying to get involved with a serious relationship, which has never happen since she came to this big new continent.

All in all, she can’t fall asleep by herself at every single nice quiet night in her warm bed just because she has too much confusion and worries in her mind. Now, time for bed, she is still tying, she is trying to get rid of this shit.

Take a deep breath, talk to herself:

  • There is nothing worth losing sleep at this stage;
  • The only way to solve a problem is to do it not to worry about it;
  • Tomorrow is another day- this saying imply another meaning: You don’t know what’s gonna happen tomorrow, so plan yourself but don’t plan the others;
  • Sleeping well then you could be more beautiful.

I guess that’s pretty much enough to convince her to have a good sleep tonight.

Good night, sweet dream!!!

Rembrandt's depiction of Samson's marriage feast

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It’s strange that I have thought a lot about marriage these days, am I old? Maybe, at the 22nd year of my life.

At the very beginning of my kid’s period, I thought probably I can live without a spouse all over the life. By that time I don’t understand anything about marriage, family, sex and domestic dissension, coz I was only 9.

Then as I found my body started to change as a normal girl, my mind also changed. “I’ll go and get a fantastic looking and extremely smart man for the rest of my life.” What a good wish and big ambition. Well, probably that could only happened in the romance. By then I was 16.

Now, the 22-year-girl starts doubting again, perhaps a woman’s life is not only about marriage, at least not all about.

It was one of the greatest July in my life because of the 2011 Asia-Pacific Cities Summit.

As a young delegate, I would say that I have been so lucky to be sponsored by my uni to attend this great conference.

Three dramatic things that I would like to share with you my friends from this experience.

Firstly, take every single chance. Nothing is impossible, I would not be able to shake the hand with the Lord Mayor if I had not typed the application for the sponsorship word by word. I would be able to meet so many diversified and amazing friends if I didn’t check the university email regularly. Sometimes things just happened better than you expect, so take every opportunity, you will be the next lucky person.

Secondly, network equals net worth. Can you imagine only in three days I met more than 100 people and got half of their contacts and quarter of them became my friends. Amazing, now I could easily pick up a number to plan for a drink at Friday night I guess.

Finally, being perceptive and qualified. Gucci & LV are loved by women not only because they are perceptive but also qualified. There is a similar logic behind relationships between people. Assuming you met a good-looking young woman who is graceful in manner, what will you do next? Get the contact and catch her up, absolutely. Then you might have two different further discoveries, impressive or disappointed. Obviously that depends on whether she conversations extraordinary or speaking vulgarity.

Thanks for my fantastic mates from APCS, Rachell, Kate, Anton, Stu and Allen… I had a great time with you, actually one of the biggest moment in the life, I am glad you were all there^^

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Great, that’s a great day!

Suddenly everything became so clear and I get myself back on track. It’s even too sudden to be believed.

Now I can confirm where I belong to and what I am pursuing. By having  a great late for 2011 APCS, my great day started. By the time I arrive at The Edge, the first speech was nearly half done, however, I could smell the sense of a great day from the other half of the speech presented by a beautiful oz young woman who has worked in China for year. And she said,”Get Involved, be engaged!”

Have you ever been in a situation that you didn’t start to talk one person till a long time after you met and knew each other, and then you found it should have happened earlier in your life? Well, I did today. Thanks for my dear fake Russian classmate Anton, you made me so happy today not only because you are the only child in your family.

The whole session of Young Professionals went pretty well and was ended by 3 fantastic presentation which were made by 3 fantastic presenters, with one of them I’d really appreciate Julian Simmonds, Chairman for Public & Active Transport of Queensland. You must be very curious about what happened? Now let me tell you.

Back the time when I lived in 23 Durness St, Kenmore, one of the most annoying thing that I had to do each day was to climb through a gap with a dry creek to approach the bus station. Even if now I moved, but what are you going to do if the chairman of the transport department is in front of you now? I will choose to talk to him about that and I did.

I am quite happy that I was brave enough to talk in front of people and made them laugh a bit as well. But what really impress me was the business card sent into my hand and he said,”Please email me about the site of the bus station and I will get the problem solved.” Fabulous, awesome, now I might another reason of trying to be an Australian Citizen.

I might do something well to the Kenmore state high school students who always travel through that tough shortcut, and something well to myself as well as Ms. Cherry Fu.

Anyway, that was a great fantastic day! Tomorrow is gonna be another exciting day, fake Russian, waiting for me!!

The Price Chopper Fabulous Fourth and Firework...

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The first time I saw you

You were lighting up the sky

Like bright flashing fireworks On the 4th of July

And I won’t forget, I don’t regret

Losing myself deep inside of your eyes

But then I remember for the rest of my life…

Starting with this “4th of July”, a special day for Americans and for me as well.

1o years ago, in high school, a boy said to me:”I can’t explain why I like you, but that’s just a kinda feeling which I couldn’t explain.” From then I understand how it feels when falling in love with somebody. And that’s the first time, I felt the magic of love and understood ‘Do not say a word after the lost treasure understand’.

4 years ago, in the college, a boy said to me:”Thanks for everything you did to me, but sorry I can’t be with you coz I have no feelings of love for you.” The first time I let myself chasing after the true love I am dying with, the first time I have been hurt so deeply. Then I got it ‘ Love does not just did not come, do not accept wronged their own pseudo-love’.

Today, on the 4th of July 2011, however,I said to a boy:”The feelings of love should be from the first sight when you meet me, if you didn’t have then you don’t really love me.” He doubted, which meant he really didn’t. And I understood, from the beginning, this is something wrong, but why did I still let it go? What am I expecting? What am I concealing?

I think I’ve lost who I was. Too much knowledge of love is not a good thing. I’d rather treat it as a game than a relationship.

It is not hard to decide what you don’t like, but it’s difficult to find what you like. But even when you find something you really like, it doesn’t mean you will own it. Sometimes because of size, sometimes price. Finally you might get something you don’t really like but only okay.

That is the story of life I guess.

Now in the maze of love, I am looking for a way out, what should be my next step? Attempting or waiting. Can anybody come and tell me which way to go? I am totally lost in the myth of love and I don’t think I could figure it out by myself.

Nobody is perfect, I am not, you are not, he is not, she is not. But I swear you want to find a person who thinks you are perfect to him and spend the rest your life with. Me too.

Mr. Right, I don’t where you are, and when you are gonna come into my life, I don’t care if you are a handsome boy or old man now, but I do care whether I am perfect in your eyes.

Timing Mel

June 2017
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